This Time - DIARY ENTRY

From the Summer of 2018

Coming home for the summer feels delicate. Aspects of my life here feel valuable in a way they never used to. It being my first summer since moving out, I’m overly aware of the time I have here. I keep trying to work out if it will be too much or not enough.

I’m settling back into my old habits, readjusting to spending days on my own in my bedroom again. I’ve been writing obsessively – I spent about two solid days writing and re-writing a 500 word piece for submission to a magazine. I’ve finally finished Great Expectations,* after about a month of consistently neglecting it during exams. And I’ve been making copious lists, making plans for the rest of my summer. I’m trying to soak up the dull in my life right now as much as possible; I know I’ll be envious of the isolation as soon as life starts demanding that I leave the house again.

I’m not following the news as much as I would want to. I want to start reading the newspaper again. I know that Theresa May has managed to avoid another resignation in her cabinet – this time David Davis. Sometimes, I feel uncomfortable to think that I and so many people follow what she does so closely. Some of the events in my life are marked by the events in hers, but neither of us has any idea who the other is. She keeps making me think about something Hugh Grant said on the Andrew Marr Show the other week – that politicians are just addicted to their careers. ‘You look at her and think – just quit, you can’t be enjoying it’. I think I might watch A Very English Scandal tomorrow while I’m shaving my legs – people keep recommending it to me.

I think I’ve unintentionally taken inspiration from Patti Smith’s Instagram posts – has anyone else been following those recently? I got quite into her music a few years ago, but I’ve never read any of her books. I really want to buy myself one, but I’m spending too much of my Student loan on books at the moment. Anyway, her photo diaries are beautiful – I’ve started clinging to them. It calms me down, watching her life span out in the same time frame as mine.

* Hopefully, soon I’ll write about the impact this book had on me.