forget what its like to be sixteen.

‘There are people who forget what its like to be sixteen when they turn seventeen.’ – Stephen Chbosky

I heard this sentence for the first time when I was watching 'The Perks of Being A Wallflower' film at my birthday party. Ironically, I can’t actually remember which birthday. I think I was still quite young. I know that I was on the precipice of realising I hated birthdays.

The quote has stuck with me ever since. Perhaps I was being naïve, but at the time, I didn’t think I would ever become one of those people. Where I existed, a decade was the longest time, and all my memories were close by. Nothing was too distant.

A few years back, I was heart-broken to find that I did not love something that I used to love. It was a you-tuber I watched when I was fifteen. I used to cling to his words, and watch his videos on full volume to drown out background noises that I didn’t want to hear. But, after time, this old form of escapism ceased to offer me freedom. I was uncontrollably apathetic to his words. 

As a teenager, all I knew was wanting to be as different as possible from what I was currently, and wanting to forget and destroy my past. Is that not the mark of the teenage years? Wanting to not be me was my base and my drive. Now it feels sinful. Do all teenagers just forget their old selves?